Wet Wintry Weather
by ArturiaBlackandAmadeaWeasley
Summary: Wedding bells are tolling as Motoko and Batou return for an all new adventure filled to the brim with mayhem, intrigue, and...couple's counseling! Will their vows be upheld or will they crumble and end in bitter divorce?


My apologies… I know it's been far too long since I've posted a Gits:Sac story. With college out of the way for the moment however I've finally managed to start writing a bit more. This is another older story of mine which I'm attempting to revamp and rewrite a bit. Anyway, I'll probably be posting this story in segments rather than as one complete chapter. I'm not sure how far I'm going to take this but if interest in it keeps up then I'll definitely keep on posting more chapters.

Also, I'd like to thank NatsumeShin, Cherrie-san, The 666th necrophiliac, and HannahPullings for their reviews of Paper Cuts. That said, let the story begin…

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><p>"Very well, it's settled then." Chief Aramaki looked at his two top operatives with the upmost gravity, his face betraying the dangers and inherent perils of the mission they were about to undertake… A mission full of high powered explosives, armor piercing rounds, danger, intrigue and - "I now pronounce you husband and wife." …holy matrimony? A grave frown turned to a wry smile even as Aramaki handed Motoko and Batou a pair of golden wedding bands, earning him a pair of dumbfounded looks. Even the normally outspoken Major was at a loss for words, her cybernetic jaw having dropped to the ground in disbelief.<p>

"Come again, Chief?" Motoko managed to ask, glaring at the ring in her hand as if it were a cyber-hacker that needed to be neutralized.

"You heard me Major," the grizzled old man replied, clearly enjoying his little ruse. "You and Batou are now legally wed."

Sliding the larger of the two gold bands around his massive finger, Batou recovered just enough to manage a Cheshire cat grin. Hell, he might as well have fun with this while he could. "So…" Batou turned to his purple-haired wife. "Isn't this the part where I kiss the bride?"

"Your lips so much as come within a foot of mine and I swear I'll hack you until there's not a circuit left un-fried in that thick skull of yours." Cringing ever so slightly, Batou watched as the Major's eyes flared to an assertive shade of crimson. If looks could shoot daggers, Batou was certain he'd be a human pincushion right now.

"Or not…" Batou sighed inwardly.

"Chief, I want a divorce." Tossing her wedding band on Aramaki's desk with a slight scowl Motoko crossed her arms in front of her chest almost as challenging the two men to say otherwise.

Batou's face looked genuinely crestfallen. "What! But we just got married!"

"Nothing against you darling," Motoko's voice oozed sarcasm, "but I'm just not ready to commit yet."

"Now, now Major. I'm afraid we don't have much of a choice in the matter. The mission's a delicate one and we're under enough heat as it is from the higher ups. Unless you have any better suggestions then the matter is settled."

Picking the ring up in her hand, Motoko twirled the golden band in her fingers, a malicious grin marring her otherwise flawless face. "Now that you mention it Chief, I have an idea… Why not send in Batou and Togusa? The two would make a perfect couple in my opinion."

"Oh come on," Batou erupted, barely managing to stifle his fit of giggles, "me and the Mullet Man are you serious?"

"I don't know Chief, what do you think?"

Hand on his chin as if trying to envision the two male operatives together, Chief Aramaki did his best to keep a serious face. A small twinkle in his eye the only indication that he was merely pulling the large man's leg. "It would certainly be interesting to say the least."

"Chief -!"

"We could even get them matching tuxes."

"Hey now -!" Batou's head swiveled back and forth between the two in a helpless frenzy.

Grinning up at the Major lounging playfully on the edge of his desk, Aramaki shook his head. "I think that might be taking things a little too far. Maybe we arrange for them to have matching ties and leave it at that."

"Chief…Major…" Batou's voice was practically a whimper. "I think I want a divorce now too."

Smiling playfully, Motoko relinquished her perch on Aramaki's desk, making her way over to her downcast husband. Patting him on the jaw like a mother trying to soothe an ailing child, Motoko remarked tauntingly, "Don't worry honey, I promise not to play too rough these next few days. Besides, that's why we're going to couple's counseling isn't it? To work out all the little kinks in our relationship?"

"Kinks my ass, mountains is more like it." Batou mumbled to himself, the prospect of spending these next few days with the Major suddenly filling the battle-hardened operative with an inexplicable feeling of abject terror.

"You say something?"

"Hm? Oh, no! Nothing sweet heart."

"That's what I thought you said…" Motoko replied, smiling up at Batou with an unnerving gleam in her eye. A gleam which sent a pang of chill uneasiness in Batou's gut. Just as he was about to consider what might be stirring in the deepest recesses of the Major's mind a well-placed blow to his midsection from as delivered by Motoko's elbow sent him reeling. The breath completely knocked out of him, Batou could only offer a bewildered look in reply as he watched Motoko saunter away with a satisfied smirk. "And NEVER, EVER call me sweet heart again."

"G-Got it…dear…I mean…Major…" Batou managed to choke out when the breath at last returned to his body.

Watching the retreating forms of his top two operatives, Chief Aramaki waited until the two were safely out of sight before he allowed himself a genuine smile, muttering to himself, "Those two honestly fit the part far too well…"

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><p>Wait just a second…Motoko and Batou got married? And why are they on their way to couple's counseling? Find out next chapter…<p>

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